I finished 2021 with a newfound appreciation for anyone who has experienced Covid first-hand… And I learned a whole new level of self-reflection and insight about myself and my relationships along the way.

This is not where or how I thought my hubby George Perkins and I would be ringing in the new year. A locked, tiny one-bedroom facility, with no fresh air or sunlight and a brick wall as our only view 24/7.

On New Year’s eve, we were officially detainees of the Victorian government and could not leave without permission of the department of health. A policeman eyed us, every time the door opened, to reveal nurses in full protective gear.. just in case we had not understood the message. They were there to test us and take our stats every day. I think I have felt less nervous writing my university exams. I was so desperate to pass, my blood pressure went through the roof every time they tested me.

After 6 tests I remained negative. As I thought.. bulletproof.. even with a covid positive husband coughing and hacking all over me all night in our cosy… not so cosy… double bed!

It all started on the 16th December, following major surgery to my wrist, I put my hand cast into a sling, finished up every final client request and closed my business. Looking forward to a nice long break to rest and recuperate – and visit family in Melbourne.

George and I jumped on the first possible plane to visit my folks. They are living with stage 4 cancer and dementia, desperately lonely and afraid, following repetitive lockdowns of their nursing home in Victoria. We had not seen them in nearly a year.

We managed to bring some joy and laughter back into their lives, helped them gain some of their confidence back bit by bit and had a truly memorable Xmas lunch which we served under a portable gazebo in their little courtyard outside their bedroom.

(Families were not allowed to join residents for Xmas lunch, due to Covid restrictions, and my folks are too frail to go out, so we got creative!)

On our final day, all packed and ready to fly home, George gets a positive Covid result. (This was part of our requirement to fly back to Qld). We spent 10 hours in a hot car outside public toilets waiting for someone to collect us and take us into hotel quarantine. (We were unable to board a plane and no one was prepared to offer us a roof or a bed with a positive result).

As a result of this positive test, I was duty-bound to inform the nursing home. My folks were then locked in a tiny bedroom with no access to their TV or landline, which was in their other room, for 2 weeks. My mom was denied access to her urgent dentist appointment and I missed all my follow up medical appointments in Qld. ( These had to be scheduled after the ideal “check-up” date to remove stitches, change wound dressings etc.) George was landed the dubious task of washing me, dressing me and cutting up my food – whilst feeling extremely unwell.

The actual quarantine experience and ramifications all round – seriously challenged my mental state and level of confidence.

• I was filled with sadness, bitterness and remorse for putting my folks back in this situation when I had tried so hard to do the right thing by them.
• I was left reeling with confusion as to why we were in this situation as we were double and triple vaxxed and had followed the rules.
• The inability to exercise any decisions and be at the mercy of an unknown external body for the delivery of any food, medication, clean clothes, medical assistance etc was challenging. Many of these did not come through.
• We lived on a knife-edge as we faced perpetual news broadcasts that totally contradicted the information the quarantine staff phoned through to us on a daily basis. We were also interrogated constantly for the first 72 hours.
• It also created huge levels of empathy and insight for many of my family, friends and colleagues  – who have been put in situations – that left them powerless and at the mercy of others’ compassion or lack thereof.

We were beginning to think we were trapped indefinitely and probably going mad at the same time.

So lessons learned: 

1. You will either make or break a marriage by day 7 in isolation. ( I will leave you guessing)

2. You are not in control of ANYTHING except the state of your mind.

This will either destroy you or save you.

3. Thanking God for what you DO have and for what IS working…helps you stay sane. (The day my husband and I started to thank God for our blessings in 2021…on new years day 2022…is the day we started to feel a lift in our spirit.)

And so now as we enter 2022 a bit battered, vulnerable and uncertain as to what the year ahead will look like for everyone – here is my pledge.

• I will try to place my trust in God daily for my future, thank him for the people he has placed alongside me to help me and lift those situations up to him that I have no control over.
• And those situations I believe I can change…you are right…I will continue to challenge them.

So remember…when all is said and done

Be Bold

Be Curious.